Unbelievable Bohol Paradise: Hotel Eight Fifty's Secret Revealed!
Unbelievable Bohol Paradise: Hotel Eight Fifty's Secret Revealed!
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because we're diving headfirst into Unbelievable Bohol Paradise: Hotel Eight Fifty's Secret Revealed! and trust me, it's going to be a delightfully messy ride. This isn't your dry, corporate review; this is real talk, unfiltered and sprinkled with a healthy dose of "Oh, did that actually happen?"
(Deep breath) …Right, here we go:
First Impressions: The Bohol Buzz & The Eight Fifty Mystery
So, Bohol. The Philippines. Those pictures? Yeah, they're not lying. Lush greens, turquoise water… it's Instagram heaven. And Hotel Eight Fifty? Well, the ‘Secret Revealed’ bit got me intrigued. I imagined hidden waterfalls, secret beaches… maybe a lost civilization of beach-loving mermaids? (Okay, maybe not the mermaids.)
SEO-tastic Stuff: Accessibility, Safety & The Comforts of Home (and then some!)
Let's get the boring stuff out of the way first (because, honestly…).
Accessibility: Now, I didn't need wheelchair access, but I noticed they've got an elevator, and I think some rooms are designed to be accessible. (Check with the hotel directly to be 100% sure, though! I'm just a messy reviewer, not a building inspector.)
Safety & Cleanliness – The COVID Tango: Okay, so, this is HUGE right now. They're really on it. They were constantly sanitizing, hand sanitizer everywhere (even the bar!), staff masked up, the whole shebang. They're using anti-viral cleaning products, and everyone seemed trained in safety protocols. Feeling a little more at peace? Absolutely.
Sanitized Kitchen& Tableware: Check, check and check.
Rooms Sanitized Between Stays: Nice and comforting.
Daily Disinfection in Common Areas: They work hard on that.
Anti-viral Cleaning Products: Check.
Room sanitization opt-out available: Check.
First aid kit: Check (though, hopefully those are never used)
Doctor/nurse on call: You can ask, in case of emergency.
Smoking area: Check.
Security [24-hour]: Well, there is a CCTV in common areas and outside property, plus security which is 24/7.
Check-in/out [express]: Check.
Check-in/out [private]: Check.
For Your Comfort (and Mine!): They've got your basics covered, plus a whole heap.
- Available in all rooms
- Air conditioning: (Hallelujah!)
- Bathrobes: (Slight luxury, I like it)
- Blackout curtains: (Important for sleeping off those late-night cocktails)
- Coffee/tea maker: (Essential for morning survival.)
- Free bottled water: (Hydration is key, people.)
- Free Wi-Fi: (More on this later… it's mostly good!)
- In-room safe box: (For your valuables, obviously.)
- Mini bar: (temptation is real.)
- Satellite/cable channels: (Because sometimes you just need mindless telly.)
- Hair dryer: (Thank the heavens!)
- Seating area: (nice if you've had a long day)
- Alarm clock: (for that early morning breakfast)
- Mirror
- Scale: (uh oh)
- Desk
- Non-smoking
- Shower
- Slippers
- Soundproofing
- Telephone
- Toiletries
- Umbrella
- Wake-up service
- Wi-Fi [free]
- Window that opens
- Additional toilet.
- Alarm clock.
- Additional toilet
- Additional amenities
- Available in all rooms
The Internet Saga: Wi-Fi Woes and the LAN Lifeline
Okay, so Wi-Fi… mostly good. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! But… it had its moments. Sometimes it was lightning fast, sometimes it was… a gentle trickle. If you really need to be connected all the time, I'd recommend the LAN. It's there (Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless), and it’ll save your sanity if you're trying to work remotely.
Things To Do & Ways To Relax: My Personal Spa-rty!
Right, THIS is where things get interesting. Let's talk about relaxation.
- The Spa Experience: Okay, I went full-on "treat yo'self" mode. Body scrub? Check. Body wrap? Check. Massage? DOUBLE-CHECK. Seriously, the massage was divine. I think I actually drooled. (Don't judge me.) The spa is a haven. The staff are lovely, the atmosphere is calming… I could have stayed there all day.
- The Pool with a View: Breathtaking. Seriously. One of those pools where you just stare out and think “life is good.”
- Fitness center: The Fitness center is available.
- Sauna There is a sauna.
- Swimming pool Available.
- Steamroom Available.
- The beach (Bohol is a beach paradise!) The best beach is available.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: My Stomach's Very Happy Friend
- Restaurants: There are restaurants. They serve amazing food.
- Asian breakfast: Yes.
- Asian cuisine in restaurant: Yes.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Yes.
- Happy hour: Yes, thank goodness.
- International cuisine in restaurant: Yes.
- Poolside bar: Yes.
- Room service [24-hour]: Yes.
- Desserts in restaurant: Yes.
- Snack bar: Yes.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Yes.
- Western breakfast: Yes.
- Western cuisine in restaurant: Yes.
- Buffet in restaurant: Yes.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Yes.
- Bottle of water: Yes.
- A la carte in restaurant: Yes.
- Salad in restaurant: Yes.
- Soups in restaurant: Yes.
The Food Oh my goodness, the food! The breakfasts were incredible. From the freshest fruit to the most delicious omelets, it was a feast. Dinner at the restaurant…? Forget about it. Some of the best meals I’ve had! The staff were so friendly and helpful, always ready with recommendations or a friendly chat.
Services & Conveniences: Making Life Easy (and Fun)
- Air conditioning in public area: Check!
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: I didn't need it, but it's good to know.
- Business facilities: The business center is available.
- Cash withdrawal: Yes.
- Concierge: Very helpful.
- Convenience store: Yes.
- Currency exchange: Yes.
- Daily housekeeping: Always appreciated!
- Doorman: Always there.
- Elevator: Crucial for getting your luggage up!
- Facilities for disabled guests: Check.
- Food delivery: Check.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Perfect for picking up something for the folks back home (or, you know, yourself).
- Invoice provided: Check.
- Ironing service: Check.
- Laundry service: Check.
- Luggage storage: Check.
- Meeting/banquet facilities: Check.
- Outdoor venue for special events: Check.
- Projector/LED display: Check.
- Proposal spot: I did not witness, but it is available.
- Safety deposit boxes: Check.
- Smoking area: Check.
- Terrace: Check.
- Wi-Fi for special events: Check.
- Xerox/fax in business center: Check.
For the Kids: Family Friendly Fun
- Babysitting service: Check.
- Kids facilities: Check. I didn't have any, but the hotel seemed very accommodating.
- Kids meal: Yes.
Getting Around: Easy Breezy
- Airport transfer: Easy. Smooth. Stress-free.
- Car park [free of charge]: Check.
- Taxi service: Available.
- Valet parking: Check.
The Imperfections (Because Perfection Is Boring)
Okay, here's the honest bit. There were a few tiny hiccups:
- The occasional internet blip. (Mentioned above.) *
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's travel itinerary. This is a raw, unfiltered, probably-over-caffeinated peek into my glorious, possibly-slightly-chaotic Bohol adventure at Hotel Eight Fifty. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions, questionable food choices, and the undying hope that I don't get eaten by a tarsier.
BOHOL BONANZA - AKA: Pray For My Sanity (And My Stomach)
Day 1: Arrival - Soaked & Slightly Shellshocked
7:00 AM: Wake up! (Okay, more like, dragged out of bed by the insistent chirping of… something. Definitely not a friendly alarm clock. Maybe a particularly optimistic gecko?) Flight to Tagbilaran. Already regretting that pre-flight coffee.
9:00 AM: TOUCHDOWN! Tagbilaran airport. The tropical air hits me like a warm, humid hug. Except the hug also includes a generous dose of sweat. Immediately regretting the long-sleeved shirt.
9:30 AM: The baggage carousel… a land of lost souls and delayed dreams. Mine finally appears, looking a bit battered, much like me.
10:00 AM: Cab ride to Hotel Eight Fifty. The driver, bless his heart, weaves through traffic like a caffeinated hummingbird. Seriously, I think he took turns on the sidewalk at one point.
10:45 AM: Hotel Eight Fifty! The lobby is actually quite chic, even after the death-defying cab ride. Check-in is smooth, thank glob. Room key acquired!
11:00 AM: ROOM! (Cue angels singing). Okay, not quite angels, but the air conditioning blasting in the room is a close second. The view? Stunning. Turquoise water, swaying palm trees… I’m pretty sure I can hear the ocean breathing. This could actually be… paradise? Maybe?
12:00 PM: Lunch at the hotel restaurant. Ordered the "special" fish. Let's just say it was… interesting. Texture-wise, it resembled something between rubber and a particularly resilient beach ball. Flavor-wise, it was mostly… fish. Disappointment level: Moderate.
2:00 PM: Immediate nap to process the lunch situation. Sleep!
4:00 PM: A Refreshing dip in the hotel's sparkling pool, the water is refreshing. Took a quick dip around, maybe some people watching, and of course, selfies for the gram.
6:00 PM: Dinner at the hotel's restaurant, this time ordered something less adventurous. The chicken was pretty good, and a nice glass of their local craft beer.
8:00 PM: Early to bed. Jet lag is a cruel mistress. Plus, that fish… still suspicious.
Day 2: Chocolate Hills & That Freaking Tarsier (A Day of Epic Proportions)
7:00 AM: Up early! This is what I came for. The "Chocolate Hills Tour". I think I'm prepared… but I'm not.
8:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. Okay, the omelet was passable. Progress!
9:00 AM: The tour bus arrives! I'm crammed in with a group of chatty tourists. One guy keeps yelling "BOHOL, YEAH!" at the top of his lungs. My inner misanthrope is screaming.
10:00 AM: The Chocolate Hills!! Okay, I'll say it: they're breathtaking. The sheer scale of those perfectly conical hills is astonishing. Taking photos, and of course, making everyone jealous.
11:00 AM: A visit to the Tarsier Sanctuary. Okay, so here comes the moment I've been waiting for (and slightly dreading). These ridiculously adorable, big-eyed creatures are TINY. Like, you could accidentally step on one. They’re also incredibly shy. Spent 20 minutes trying to get a halfway decent photo. Success rate: 0%. Emotional reaction: A confusing mix of awe, embarrassment, and a desperate longing to hug one (which, obviously, I can't do).
12:00 PM: Lunch at what they call a "floating restaurant" on the Loboc River. It’s actually quite lovely. The buffet? Less so. The food is generic, but the scenery is spectacular. Chanting "BOHOL, YEAH!" would have been a mistake.
2:00 PM: "Man-Made Forest," for a quick photo stop and a little bit of fresh air, but mostly just to say I did it.
3:00 PM: Drive back to the hotel, feeling slightly dizzy from the food and the heat.
4:00 PM: POOL TIME! (Again). This is mandatory. Needed to wash off the day's adventures… and the lingering suspicion that a tarsier may have hopped into my hair at some point.
5:00 PM: Shopping time! Souvenirs, souvenirs! Maybe a tarsier-shaped plushie.
7:00 PM: Dinner at a roadside hole-in-the-wall restaurant. Grilled seafood. The only way to go.
9:00 PM: Exhausted, and ready to sleep.
Day 3: Beach Bliss & Farewell (Or, The Day It All Went Right)
8:00 AM: Sleep in! Bliss.
9:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. The pancakes are actually good today! Maybe I'm finally starting to appreciate Filipino cuisine.
10:00 AM: Off to Alona Beach! The hotel arranged a tricycle ride, which is every bit as thrilling as it sounds. The wind whips through my hair, the sun bakes my skin… pure, unadulterated freedom.
10:30 AM: Alona Beach. The sand is powdery white, the water is crystal clear. It's even better than the pictures! It’s a bit crowded, but the vibe is laid-back and happy.
11:00 AM: Swimming, sunbathing, and general beach bumming. This is what I came for.
1:00 PM: Lunch. Fresh seafood at a beachside shack. It's incredible. Easily the highlight of the trip. I'm pretty sure I could eat this every day and be perfectly content.
3:00 PM: More swimming, sunbathing, and general beach bumming.
5:00 PM: Back to the hotel, feeling sun-kissed and ridiculously happy.
6:00 PM: Dinner at a sunset cocktail, with music and nice views.
8:00 PM: Packing. Reality is looming. Goodbye, Bohol. You were a wild ride.
9:00 PM: One last walk around the hotel. Taking a deep breath.
Day 4: Departure
- 7:00 AM: Check out, cab ride.
- 9:00 AM: Departure.
Final Thoughts:
Bohol was a rollercoaster. The food was a mixed bag, the traffic was bonkers, and the tarsiers almost broke me. But the Chocolate Hills, the beaches, and the sheer, unadulterated beauty of the place? Absolutely worth it. I'm leaving this paradise feeling refreshed, with a slightly sunburnt nose, a slightly fuller stomach, and a renewed appreciation for the simple things in life. And maybe, just maybe, a deep longing to return.
Escape to Shangrao: Uncover the Magic of Sanqingshan Jinyilai Inn
Unbelievable Bohol Paradise: Hotel Eight Fifty's Secret Revealed! (Hold on, it's a wild ride...)
Okay, spill the beans! What's so *secret* about Hotel Eight Fifty? Is it a hidden portal to Narnia or what?
Alright, alright, simmer down, drama queen. While I *wish* it was a portal (imagine, escaping laundry day through a rabbit hole!), the "secret" is more... intangible. It’s the *vibe*. Look, the Bohol landscape is stunning anywhere, right? Chocolate Hills, those tarsiers with their giant peepers... But Eight Fifty? They nail the whole laid-back luxury thing. Like, proper. It's not just the infinity pool overlooking the ocean (which *is* ridiculously Instagrammable, admit it). It's the feeling you get when you're sipping a cocktail and the cicadas are *thrumming*… pure, unadulterated bliss. Or maybe it was the rum. Either way, it's addictive. And I may have been a little tipsy on the plane home and booked another trip. Sue me.
The photos look perfect! Is it *actually* as good as it seems, or is it all filters and fake smiles?
Ugh, I hate those perfectly curated Instagram feeds! Listen, it's *close* to the photos. I mean, the pool *is* that vibrant blue, the sunsets *are* that ridiculously fiery. The rooms are gorgeous. But here's reality check time: My first impression? *Overwhelmed*. The lobby smelled slightly of old wood and coconut oil – strong enough to make me immediately assume the presence of bugs. (Spoiler alert: there were a few, but nothing a quick spray couldn't handle and the aromatherapy was divine. The real drama came later, with the ant invasion... more on that...). Also, the initial service was... a little slow. But once you settle in, it's amazing. Honestly.
What's the food like? Because, let's be honest, a beautiful hotel is useless if the food sucks.
Okay, food is KING. And Eight Fifty, bless their hearts, they understand. The breakfast buffet? Forget about it. A glorious mountain of fruit, the crispy bacon… I'm drooling just thinking about it. And the freshly baked bread! *Swoon*. Dinner at their restaurant, the Alona, was a revelation. The *adobo*? Melts in your mouth. The seafood? Fresh from the ocean. And the cocktails!!! The bartender, bless his heart, created a bespoke concoction just for me after I whined about wanting something "tropical and strong". Best. Drink. Ever. I even tried to recreate it at home... disaster. Clearly, some things are best left to the professionals and the perfect coastal breeze.
Tell me about the rooms. Are they worth the price tag?
The rooms are... luxurious. Like, seriously luxurious. We're talking plush beds you sink into, balconies with breathtaking views, and bathrooms bigger than my first apartment. (Okay, maybe a slight exaggeration, but still!) And the smell, as those initial impressions faded, was pure bliss – the subtle fragrance of fresh linen is a gift to your senses. Worth the price tag? Okay, let's be honest, it depends on your budget, right? But if you can swing it, yes. Absolutely. It’s an investment in your sanity. It's an investment in your happiness. It's an investment in not having to do the dishes (because did I mention the perfect room service?!).
What's the vibe of the hotel? Is this a place for quiet relaxation, or more like a party resort?
It’s a mix, and that’s the beauty of it. During the day, it's all about chilling by the pool, reading a book, and maybe getting a massage (DO IT, seriously!). At night, things get a little livelier, especially at the bar. The music is chill but upbeat, the cocktails flow freely (see previous confession!), and people are friendly. I saw a few groups of friends, some couples, and even a solo traveler or two (who, I suspect, were secretly wishing they had someone to share the amazing sunset with. I felt you, buddy!). So, yes, you can find quiet relaxation. But you can also have a proper good time. It really does have something for everyone, which is, you know, rare.
Okay, okay, spill! What was the *worst* part? Because every trip has a hitch, right?
Ugh. The ants. The *ANTS*. You wouldn't think it, right? Paradise, luxury, cocktails... then *ANTS*. They were tiny. Insidious. And everywhere. Now, I'm not usually one to freak out about bugs (I mean, I live in the world, right?), but these weren't just any ants. These were army ants, apparently, on a mission to colonize my room. It started innocently enough. A few scouts, wandering around the bathroom. I squished them. No biggie. Then, the next morning… an absolute *army*. Marching across the counter, infiltrating my stash of chocolate biscuits, even daring to climb onto my toothbrush! I freaked. I. Freaked. I called reception, they sent someone, who sprayed. The ants retreated (for a while). But the next day, the whole thing started again. Different room. Same result. It was the only real blight on the experience. (And, to be fair, it was my fault for leaving crumbs out. Rookie mistake.) BUT SERIOUSLY, ANT CONTROL, EIGHT FIFTY! You're a luxury hotel!
Would you go back? Even with the ant situation?
Absolutely. The ants are a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things. I’d pack a can of ant spray next time. And maybe a hazmat suit, just in case… Look, that place… it’s magic. The moment I stepped off the plane at Tagbilaran airport, a tiny part of me was already planning my return. Hotel Eight Fifty? It's a place where you let go. Where you can actually, *actually* relax. And that, my friends, is worth more than any amount of ant-related trauma. So, yes. I’m going back. Maybe I’ll see you there, sipping a cocktail, plotting my next escape from reality. Just… watch out for the ants.
Post a Comment for "Unbelievable Bohol Paradise: Hotel Eight Fifty's Secret Revealed!"